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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a high opinion about myself when I play PC games... It's my low self on Steam."

"I thought it was good to get a bonus. It sucks getting a bonus chromosome."

"My internet was just down for 5 minutes, Im okay, but the 9-1-1 operator was being a total bitch about it."

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"

"Where did the general keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"Interviewer: Where were you born? Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care."

"What do you call a dog without front legs? Chester."

"Still feel bad for not considering that Dr. Pepper might be a woman."

"Auto-erotic asphyxiation You can go on about it until you're blue in the face, I'm still not interested."

"Why is it possible for a door to be made out of kittens? Because they are a-door-able."