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Joke of the Day

"My fathers wife bought a ""Christian cookbook"" I didn't even know they had different recipes, I've been eating sin all along."

"Did you hear about the guy with 5 dicks? ...his pants fit like a glove."

"If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?"

"A man goes to his doctor and says; Doc I think I'm addicted to twitter. Doc: Sorry, I don't follow you"

"So you could say USA nuked Japan in the woman's world cup. Too soon?"

"If you were on a bus full of queers, Would you stay on or get off? My physics teacher told me that one."

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hangout. It just says I can't get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"

"Why are lemons yellow? They don't know it either - that's why they are so sour"

"The story of Snow White teaches us something very important: NEVER eat fruit."

"4k tvs? no thanks i only need one"