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Joke of the Day

"Lesbian Neighbors My two lesbian neighbors asked what I wanted for my birthday. I said I wanna watch. FML. They gave me a Rolex"

"Do you fall for 'click bait'? Yes."

"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty."

"[aquarium exit] Excuse me ma'am, would you mind opening your bag? I beg your pardon?! OPEN YOUR BAG *opens bag and reveals two penguins*"

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"How do you make a 90's kid mad? The game."

"a man goes to the doctor... ""Whats wrong with me?"" ""You have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" ""So that I can examine you."""

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I was wearing the wrong socks."

"McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in the wrong stuff that they gave you at the 2nd window."

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"