71049
Joke of the Day
"You think you had a bad day? Clams are getting chowdered. CHOWDERED."
Next Joke
"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be..."
"Watching X-Men. Hard to believe that all this stuff actually happened."
"How about how some people are SO gothed out but still drive a Ford Focus and shit?! Make your vehicle goth or you ain't shit."
"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam."
"I'm busy masturbating when my friend texts me ""What's up?"" With my free hand I text ""Nuttin'"""
"Shout out to my neighbors for the 2:00 am fireworks; I hope you enjoyed my 7:00 am weed whacking."
"When the cleaning lady say's ""Have a good night"", I try to time it so we say it in unison. Then I say our ""You too"" response in harmony."
"If a bunch of white people running down a hill is an avalanche, what is a bunch of black people running down a hill? A prison break."
"So a cop pulled me over one day for speeding... he asked: ""excuse me sir, but do you know how long i've been waiting for you?"" i said:"" i know, i'm sorry but i tried to get here as fast as i could."""