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Joke of the Day
"Don't call Donald Trump a cunt. He lacks the warmth and depth."
Next Joke
"When you get sloppy seconds and get her pregnant. You get a sloppy Joe."
"Did you hear about the great Alphabet war of 1938? The last letter of the alphabet declared war on all the not-zs."
"Did you hear about helicopter that crashed into that graveyard? Police have so far recovered 54 bodies"
"I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave."
"(NSFW) They've finally published my self-help book about having sex with herbs It's about fucking thyme."
"How to kill two birds with one stone: Step 1: throw a stone at a bird Step 2: go pick up that stone Step 3: throw it at another bird"
"What do you call Batman who skips church? Christian Bail"
"CW: Can I ask you something? Me: Don't talk to me until I've had coffee. CW: But you don't drink coffee. Me: *smiles and continues to work"
"Why is a woman lie a hurricane? When she comes she's wet and wild, but when she leaves she takes the house, the car and the kids..."