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Joke of the Day
"If you want people to get mad at you, just say that your not going to care about you're mistakes."
Next Joke
"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillowcases? They're really making headlines."
"I don't make jokes I just watch the government and report the facts."
"""Look we LOVE the script for 'Murder Bees', just change the name to 'My Girl' and you've got yourself a movie!!"""
"BREAKING NEWS: California's drought is over Water supply flourishing from the tears of the racist, homophobic, and conservative southerners."
"A really effective car insurance ad would just show pics of Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes and say: Because these girls have licenses."
"psychic: ""I see... I see kids in your future"" me: ""but I've had a vasectomy"" [9 months later ... me tending a goat farm] ""This's bullshit"""
"Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons."
"Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk!"
"Why does Popeye have the perfect dick? Because he's always dipping it in Olive Oyl."