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Joke of the Day

"suicide bombing class... Welcome to Suicide Bombing Class 101. Listen carefully because i'm only going to say this once."

"What do you call a Bible for the blind? The Holy Braille!"

"If ur a guy riding on a motorcycle with another guy, it's best to sit facing each other. 1 man mounted behind another that just looks bad"

"What's a baker's biggest fear? Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread."

"Today I fell asleep for twenty minutes during a thirty minute car ride, which was strange because I was driving."

"An American's ""inside voice"" is the rest of the world's ""outside voice""."

"I'm sorry, your photo is so confusing. You're gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what's going on here."

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred? . . . . . The top ans was . . . . . GET the hell outta of my bathroom!"

"My best dating advice is to wait after you have two kids and a house before you tell her you speak elvish."

"The new Tattoo parlor across the street is free if you show boobs... ...Tit for tat."