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Joke of the Day

"If ur a guy riding on a motorcycle with another guy, it's best to sit facing each other. 1 man mounted behind another that just looks bad"

"Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel? He needed a place to crash."

"Just got back in the USA, I heard something about a party here? I don't know, there's a song about it and everything."

"I tired to kill myself today... But, it was all in vein."

"I was painting the house with my kids yesterday. It was fun and all, but I wasn't sure where to hide the bodies."

"I'm surprised the Pope didn't tweet from an Android, considering humanity and God's experience with apples."

"-Come on, it's time to go -No -We are going to be late -I hate school -But Mum, you have to take me!"

"Hey Seattle, wanna win the Superbowl? ""No thanks, we'll pass"""

"What were Charles Darwin's favorite fruits? Oranges and peaches."

"It must be tough for a woman going through her OKCupid messages finding a good one... It's like finding a needle in a hey-stack."