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Joke of the Day

"Two vampires walk into a bar One orders a glass of blood, the other orders a glass of plasma. The bartender replies, ""So one blood and a blood light."""

"""NSFW"" Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can cum on its face afterwards."

"One of the guys I work with overdosed on Viagra. His wife's been taking it pretty hard."

"There's three kinds of people in this world People who can count, and people who can't"

"is there a sadder metaphor of ur adulthood destroying ur childhood than the fact that to get to work evryday u hav to burn up dead dinosaurs"

"The Three Hole Punch either sounds like an awesome karate move or an awful bedroom experience."

"Do you know why Stevie Wonder can't see his friends? He got married."

"Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender yells, ""we don't serve your type in here."""

"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ""am I being detained?"""

"I'm at my sexiest when I find the grown out patch of hair on the outside of my ankle I missed with the razor the last 17 times I shaved."