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Joke of the Day

"Anne Boleyn: My love, I wait for but one word from you Henry VIII: New phone who dis Anne: Your wife Henry VIII: Lol which one"

"How you can tell if a person is Irish: a fly lands in their pint of beer. They grab the fly and start shaking it over their beer yelling ""Spit it out ya bastard, spit it out!"""

"Squirrels before girls."

"Which came first? Chicken or the Egg? Neither. I CAME first!"

"I saw a picture of myself on a milk carton once but my new family was rich so I kept my mouth shut."

"They're building a restaurant on Mars now... They say the food will be great, but they're worried about a lack of atmosphere."

"What do we want? Low flying plane noises! when do we want em? Nnneeeeeeeeyyyyyoooooowwwww"

"Every time you enter a room, you should say ""Smells like farts in here."" This way when you fart later, they'll never suspect you."

"I get so pissed off when the 'Dawson's Creek' theme song doesn't suddenly play in the background while I'm having a magical moment."

"I can't imagine why more guys don't do yoga. 1. Yoga pants 2. Lots of girls 3. Lots of girls in yoga pants doing yoga moves"