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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't milk it."

"Why do ants not go to church? Because their in sects"

"I'm gonna name my daughter Retarded So I can say yes whenever someone asks me if I am fucking retarded"

"[staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]"

"I like to go to the movies and politely ask the people in front of me to stop kicking my seat."

"Have you heard the one about the suicidal farmer that liked to mutilate cows? He was a danger to himself and udders. Edit: Spelling"

"What did Mozart tell the terminator I'll be Bach"

"What's the worst thing about owning a console? Memories of your dad leaving you are in 30fps"

"OC: after talking with my buddy, I thought of this. how do you know if some does crossfit? They''ll tell you."

"Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a ""What's up"" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream."