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Joke of the Day

"I like to go to the movies and politely ask the people in front of me to stop kicking my seat."

"Honey, does the baby do parkour? ""No"" she says. He replies ""then he fell out the window""."

"I was very lonely so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company."

"It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. So, hate fun or have a fat face, your choice."

"I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. She never saw me coming."

"Idea for a board game BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name."

"What does a bodybuilder do while waiting in a long line? Weights"

"I made up a color in my head today. It was a pigment of my imagination."

"Royal Canadian Mounted Police (""Mountie"") joke Did you hear about the near-sighted Mountie?...He tied his whistle to a tree and blew his horse."

"This guy at the bar wouldn't shut up about how Zombies ""could be real"" So I killed him... If he comes back...He wins the argument"