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Joke of the Day

"I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing he'll do today is buy bedroom curtains."

"Q: What's the good part about having alzheimer's? You can hide your own easter eggs."

"I was kicked out of karate class today for describing everything the instructor did as ""senseitational"""

"What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead"

"Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway."

"s/o to chins tho for scientifically proving that two is not always better than one"

"What did one Snow Man say to the other? Hey, you smell carrots?"

"Why do mice have tiny balls? Not very many of them know how to dance"

"I usually base my religious and political beliefs on flyers and pamphlets handed to me on the street."

"RT if you've followed someone on twitter and then realized you hate them."