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Joke of the Day

"What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead"

"Breaking: New torture report reveals CIA use of Facebook Year In Review videos."

"her: what r u doing? me: taking a photo of a glass of tap water on snapchat & see if they have- her: oh god me:-a water filter."

"The Australian border patrol is so good... they even stop the good internet from reaching Australia."

"Depressed cows feel like life is udderly hopeless. But now there's hope. Ask your doctor if Cowbucil is right for your cow."

"What is Snoop Dogg's favorite weather? Drizzle"

"It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads."

"What do you call a pushy asshole potato? A dic-tater."

"Hey girl, are you an integral? Because I'd like to find the area under your curves"

"I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime."