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Joke of the Day

"What did the black guy see when he went down the roller coaster? His upper lip."

"Today's special menu The waiter asked, ""Would you like to hear today's special?"" ""Yes please,"" I smiled. ""Today is special,"" he replied, then walked off."

"Gotta admire the Nazi's ethics on medical research... ...since they advanced the field without hurting any animals."

"*gives joke answer to daughter's 75th consecutive question* [20 years later, she's in an office] ""Everyone knows the moon was built in 1973"""

"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch."

"[Putting petrol in car] 19.95 19.96 19.97 [stops] [gently now] 19.98 [very gently] 19.99 [ok, once more] [deep breath] 37.83 GODDAMMIT"

"What do you say to a guy with kidney stones? Urine trouble."

"What song does a dwarf pimp sing? high ho's, high ho's, it's off to work I go"

"Is having a penis easy? Well it can be hard sometimes"

"Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church? They're insects. I'll show myself out."