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Joke of the Day

"Today's special menu The waiter asked, ""Would you like to hear today's special?"" ""Yes please,"" I smiled. ""Today is special,"" he replied, then walked off."

"Even 9/11 had its positives... My house climbed 2 spots in the world's tallest building ranks."

"If smoking weed ruins your short term memory... ...then what does smoking weed do?"

"I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he half-assed it..."

"The shame about ancient Grecian art... The shame about ancient Grecian art is that there are amazing marble sculptures and structures which too often get taken for granite."

"What do grandparents smell like? ""Depends"""

"No I didn't want a receipt but now that you've asked me I'm suspicious, so yes, I will have that receipt now please."

"What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break? TREE O'clock!"

"What were the infinite number of Indian Mathematicians complaining about? That the Hilbert Hotel didn't book Uncountables."

"What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits."