1207

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I put on my Ocean Pacific (op) pants I feel I must say something meaningful."

"Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone."

"There's no such thing as ""elevator etiquette"" buddy. Just enjoy your back scratch."

"No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar... With our age difference, I wouldn't be a cougar... more like a saber-toothed tiger."

"Did you hear about the scientist who accidentally tripped into his cloning machine? He was really beside himself after that one."

"Japanese gardener gets tired of being bossed around by homeowner You think he say ""Leaf me alone"", but he say ""Fuck you, homeowner, fuck you..."""

"US disasters and tragedies You'd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds... oh wait..."

"What's the difference between a microwave and anal sex? A microwave won't Brownen your meat"

"Why does Highlander 2 exist? There can only be one."

"My work ethic could best be described as ""procrastinate as much as possible then frantically scream OH FUCK right before the deadline."""