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Joke of the Day

"There is a small dent on the side of this plane. It must have a... *Puts on sunglasses* ""Airline fracture"""

"An M&M for 50 cent!? That's Ludacris!"

"[1692 Salem] ""BURN THE WITCH"" U HAVE A CROOKED NOSE, WITCH ""No, Frank, at the stake"" [quickly lighting torch] Right, I knew that."

"The Joys of Horse-riding by Jim Kama"

"Me: Can you believe that after all that crap they're still together!?! Friend: Who ? Me: My butt-cheeks"

"So Batman is flying around metropolis looking for crime when... Superman walks up and is all like, ""hey motherfucker, what the fuck?"" Sorry, it's Halloween. ;)"

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."

"Dead Babies I hate it when I'm driving out of my garage and my next door neighbour's son stands on my way and I run over him by accident and I have to bury him in my backyard. #FuckGrammar"

"I didn't think that pigs could fly... But then I found out that Donald Trump had a private jet."

"Ebenezer Scrooge must have been tripping pretty badly to see all those ghosts He probably popped a Marley"