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Joke of the Day

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milk shakes? Because he uses the finest ingredients."

"Why don't you eat a girl out first thing in the morning? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"It would be awesome to have friends as committed to keeping in touch as much as bill collectors are."

"How do you now when somebody is retarded on Facebook? Well, its complicated."

"What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage? Garbage gets thrown out."

"What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out"

"This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around. I was a dictator."

"Q: What did the leprotic john say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Its a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"You're an asshole Superman."