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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermid, it's too long."

"Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge? They are for those who don't drink!"

"what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? a gang rape"

"Breaking Bad joke (credit to edrubio6) Skyler: Hey, Walt, wanna hear a joke? Walter: Okay. Skyler: Knock kno- Walter: I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"

"What do a Yugo and a bath have in common? You can't step out of them in public."

"Ryan had to go potty real bad, but the door to the potty was Lochte."

"The school wants to test my kid for gifted but the program doesn't have ""my kid is gifted"" bumper stickers, so, like, what's the point?"

"A lot of people look at Russian roulette as a negative game, but statistically it's actually one of the only games you can't lose twice"

"What do you call a man, with no arms or legs, in the middle of the ocean? fucked"

"Netflix is making a documentary on the upcoming presidential inauguration. They're calling it ""Orange is the New Black""."