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Joke of the Day
"Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper ? He had his own frog horn !"
Next Joke
"ME: wat if they dont like me MOM: just be urself ME: ok! [comes home early in a masive cloud of bees] ME: WAIT DID U SAY ""BEE URSELF"" OR ""BE"
"I don't throw snowballs because I believe snowman life begins at snowball conception."
"Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism."
"We were without phone, TV and internet access for a few hours today. It was terrifying because I almost got some work done."
"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last very long for fat people"
"""Thanks for turning me into an expression of contempt. Sorry about making delicious nourishment so damned accessible."" -Low-hanging fruit"
"My car horn hasn't worked for a long time. Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, ""Beep repaired!"""
"The wind just blew a napkin off my table and down the street. That one's on you, Earth."
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One but he must consult the DSM-IV."