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Joke of the Day

"*does coke* *has unprotected sex* *smokes cigarettes* ""oh haha no I don't drink soda because it's bad for you"""

"To me, ""drink responsibly"" means don't spill it."

"What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality."

"People say I am condescending. THAT MEANS I TALK DOWN TO PEOPLE."

"My twin brother is a retarded thief. He stole my chromosome."

"President's Day is just a holiday invented by Presidents to sell more Presidents."

"What does the Sargeant of the Knowledge division always tell his troops to get? in formation"

"How do you know you are at a gay picnic? The hotdogs taste like shit"

"Why do tweakers do it doggy-style? So they can both look out the window."

"A helicopter There are two men in a helicopter, the gunner says to the pilot,""are you going to rotate clockwise?"" The pilot says,""yaw"""