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Joke of the Day

"A helicopter There are two men in a helicopter, the gunner says to the pilot,""are you going to rotate clockwise?"" The pilot says,""yaw"""

"What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper? Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too."

"*sees guy having a heart attack* me: quick somebody push a cookie in his mouth! person: isn't that for diabetics? me: it's what I would want"

"Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidently swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper... I woke this morning with a huge correction."

"Reporting on your own superheroic activity while in your secret identity as a reporter is an ethics violation, MR. KENT."

"We've secretly replaced the G with a K on this bottle of Jergens. Let's see if he notices."

"#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A raccoon and a tree commit multiple felonies"

"Jubilee is a mutant who can shoot sparks from her hands, and spontaneously destroy electronics by touching them... So she's basically like my mom, if my mom could shoot sparks from her hands."

"Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?"

"German for 'constipated'. farfrompoopin"