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Joke of the Day

"I went to a homeless themed fancy dress last night. It was shit.Fcuk all food or drink and we stood outside in the rain all night."

"Girl, you're like school in june.. No class."

"[Mugshot photographer] Me: now lets do a silly one"

"it is so good that there are millions of movie & famous people quotes you can use instead of having to think of something interesting to say"

"Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!"

"What do you call a man with no body and a nose ? Nobody knows!"

"What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said ""Darling you've got lovely teeth."""

"The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room"

"What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law? You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law."

"What do you call a pachyderm that doesn't matter? Irrelephant."