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Joke of the Day

"it is so good that there are millions of movie & famous people quotes you can use instead of having to think of something interesting to say"

"You all think Trump is funny now but just wait for the wave of white-trash kids named ""Donald"" entering kindergarten around 2020."

"What did the right breast say to the left breast in the mirror? You look like a right tit in that."

"My girlfriend always wakes up with a huge smile on her face. Goddamnit, I love my Sharpie!"

"What does a tree do when he's going on a vacation? He packs his trunk and leaves. I should go back to studying now. K bye."

"Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN."

"Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today"

"Santa's lap isn't the only place wishes come true."

"I bought one of Donald Trump's books on how to run a business ...but for some reason, it just ends at Chapter 11."