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Joke of the Day

"What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said ""Darling you've got lovely teeth."""

"My friend asked why his computer kept crashing. I told him, 'because they can't drive' . (Girlfriend told me this joke)"

"Weighed myself. Did elliptical for 30 minutes. Weighed myself. Half a pound heavier. Never exercising again."

"How do you teach a girl math? Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply."

"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ""am I being detained?"""

"What do you call a man that brews beer? A Hebrew."

"what is a female journalist returning from India famous for ? Banged up abroad!"

"8: ow ow ow ow ow me: what are you doing? 8: looking for my toy me: why don't you turn your light on? 8: i can see in the dark me: carry on"

"Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One fish turns to the other and says, ""DAM."""

"Gangstas Why do gangsters turn their guns to the side? So their hats are right side up when they go to aim."