1204

Joke of the Day

"Dodged the bullet A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman."

"[NYE] ME: *wearing 2017 glasses* OPTOMETRIST: *rubbing his temples* Stephanie your eyesight may be bad but you really only need one pair"

"Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race? I've finally turned a corner in my career."

"The new and best Rock band Iron Gaben"

"How does a psychic cokehead tell the future? With a magic 8-ball"

"I'd like a new frog please. But you bought one only yesterday. What happened? It Kermit-ted suicide."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, it won't come."

"What do you do when you see an epileptic throwing a fit in a bath tub? You throw in some laundry and detergent."

"""I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."" Will Shriner"

"High Quality Poem Error 404 Your Haiku could not be found Try again later"