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Joke of the Day

"I'd like a new frog please. But you bought one only yesterday. What happened? It Kermit-ted suicide."

"What did the Mexican detective say in England? I'm like Sherlock, holmes."

"Be nice to bacteria... they're the only culture some people have."

"If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital."

"~Little Mermaid family meeting~ Ariel.... We found this hidden in your top drawer. *places sea cucumber on table*"

"You know you're an adult when you suddenly start taking Bert's side over Ernie's."

"Thanks for the Facebook invite to your wedding cheapass. Please enjoy this FarmVille mystery gift on the occasion of your marriage."

"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."

"Money is the root of all wealth."

"her: what's your sign? im a cancer me [never heard of astrology before]: im a aids"