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Joke of the Day

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? (FIXED) He's black, it shouldn't be that hard."

"My family leaves lights on that I didn't even know we had."

"What is the difference between a Poodle and a Pitbull? If the Pitbull starts humping your leg he gets to finish."

"My wife has been missing for two days now. Police have told me to expect the worst. So I went to the charity shop to buy her clothes back."

"Mom: you failed your english test, didn't you? Me: who telled you?"

"What do you call an unidentifiable eating disorder? An a-nom-aly"

"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? to get to the same side."

"My shy father was killed by a falling piano. His funeral was very low key."

"I wasted 400 years of my life trying to figure out if I was a vampire."

"I told my wife I'm not willing to help with the laundry but I am willing to draw nipples on her flesh colored bras so they'd be less creepy."