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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a Poodle and a Pitbull? If the Pitbull starts humping your leg he gets to finish."

"The carwash is a great place to meet other millionaires who for some reason don't have garden hoses."

"Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence."

"Why are men so smart while having sex? Because they are plugged into a fucking know-it-all."

"My wife thinks our sex life is boring and I get distracted easily.......... Well I Better get back to it...."

"2 peanuts are walking in the park. One is assaulted."

"I'm quitting the blueberry only diet. I haven't lost a pound and I'm getting tired of blueberry pancakes, muffins and poptarts every meal."

"What does earth say to the other planets? You have no life"

"Why are teachers always making answer keys? So they can open doors of opportunity for their students."

"A friend and I got into a fight on a ski lift. It was an uphill battle."