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Joke of the Day

"""Knok Knock "" -""Knok Knock."" =""Who's there ?"" -""Grandad"" =""Shit, stop the funeral"" credit: Gary Delaney"

"Accents are important. Would you rather be touched by Jesus or Jesus?"

"How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends what you want it to change into..."

"I don't believe in mythical creatures like dragons, unicorns, Lock Ness Monster, drama free women. Just joking, I believe in Nessie."

"Have you heard of the new movie ""constipation""? It hasn't came out yet"

"After an altercation with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice."

"What's Serena Williams' favorite time of day? Ten-ish."

"What is the biggest obstacle in getting rich quickly? Cops"

"I'm going skiing in Colorado. They say there are a lot of blacks there. But there are a lot of blues and greens as well, so I should be okay."

"People always asked me why I made puns. I told them that we live in a world where a comedian either climbs to be a legend or lives long enough to start using puns... and I chose the ladder."