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Joke of the Day

"What planet smells the worst? Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it."

"Van Gogh hands a wrapped up box to his girlfriend. ""Vincent, please tell me this isn't another ear."" ""What?"""

"What's black and married to my daughter? Nothing because I'm a good parent."

"I've come to the realisation that tofu is over rated- It's just a curd to me."

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"Just went to the bookies to put a bet on a horse called ""Dirty Carpet"" it's never been beaten"

"I'd quit drinking if the lime wedge on my vodka soda wasn't the only thing keeping me from getting scurvy."

"When I was young, I played the triangle in a reggae band. I just used to stand at the back 'n' ting."

"I was disappointed to find out my countertops were linoleum. I guess i took them for granite"

"I never thought I'd buy into Feng Shui. But oh how the tables have turned."