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Joke of the Day

"""It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!"" - someone who's never killed a bear with a sword"

"Rest in peace David Bowie I love your knives!"

"What's Hitler's favorite board game? Gas Who?"

"Voting was a lot more fun in the days when you got 4 snapshots for a dollar in the booth."

"What would you call an additional day added to the week? Sumday"

"""Are you sexually ac-"" [my doctor looks up at me] [he marks no]"

"When I push a door that clearly says pull, it serves as a harsh reminder that I'd make a terrible midwife."

"I went into a bar and ordered a Bin Laden Two shots and splash of water."

"Get a free debt analysis by visiting your parents this holiday."

"I believe in the vagina like other people believe in God I've never seen one before, but I have faith."