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Joke of the Day

"A ""clear memory"" button, but for my brain. And while we're at it, a ""delete cookies"" button, but for my thighs."

"I was gonna make a joke about my dog being a freak on a leash... But it was too korny"

"Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman"

"Just once I would like to hear an athlete thank God for their talent and their pharmacist for everything God left out."

"I was asked to be an Elvis impersonator for a kid's birthday party. I showed up drunk, shot the TV, then died on the toilet."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it into a microwave until it's bill withers."

"What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll? People keep ripping me off."

"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days."

"When the only light in your world is suddenly gone ...it's time to recharge your phone."

"There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and nine other types of people."