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Joke of the Day

"A ""clear memory"" button, but for my brain. And while we're at it, a ""delete cookies"" button, but for my thighs."

"Turns out, humans aren't the only ones who have trouble with homonyms. My dog keeps saying ""rough"" instead of ""ruff""."

"Why are there interstates in Hawaii?"

"Kim Kardashian settles lawsuit with Old Navy over stealing her likeness; also settles with The Gap over stealing her nickname."

"What is the lifespan of an owl? 6 1/2 books."

"Have you seen the new clear plastic bikinis? They're worth looking into."

"I was so surprised when he said those three little words to me: ""You're embarrassingly bad at math. This is over."""

"What do an eagle and a broom have in common? They both fly but the broom doesn't."

"A guy I know got hit in the head with a can of soda He was lucky it was a soft drink"

"Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."