145904

Joke of the Day

"TIL Why homosexuals dress so nicely. It's because they spend most of their time in the closet."

"What's another name for a dictator? Penis potato"

"I come from a long line of people with convenient principles *helps an old lady cross the street because a girl is watching*"

"ME:[defending myself] Oh yeah?? Well I got 5 words for you buddy: please be nice to me"

"What's the difference between the US election and sex? During sex it's fun to choose between asshole and cunt."

"I don't date Chinese girls... That's a big red flag for me..."

"What was said the boiled waters funeral? You will be mist."

"Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colors? He had a reptile-dysfunction."

"The Obama Administration just created 100 million jobs @ Dell and Comcast by cutting power in India."

"I took a selfie with my uncle. Everyone behind us shook their heads. I never know how to behave at wakes."