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Joke of the Day

"How do you break the nose of a blonde without touching her? Wave your cock underneath a glass table"

"Arrogant lady, owned ! Lady : I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! Man : If I were the last man on earth, you wouldn't have a say in the matter."

"-That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times."

"Earthquake in DC... This is the shakeup in Washington we needed."

"Nobody's going to see a sticker on a telephone pole and then become a fan of your band."

"new pet ideas: an egg with hair on, small bear, tictac size baby cats, frog with wheels"

"I'm so proud of my self, I decided I'm going to stop procrastinating and do something with my life! Starting tomorrow..."

"""Open Mike Night"" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy."

"If donald trump marries donald duck ,What will they name their child? Donald Dump"

"The hard truth is like poetry... ...most people hate hearing it."