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Joke of the Day

"Fun prank: tell your kid World War II ended by the Americans dropping an F-bomb on Japan. Then later when his teacher calls, act shocked."

"Dentist: when was the last time you flossed? Me: bro, you were there."

"Bert asks Ernie, ""Ernie do you want to get ice cream?"" Ernie responds ""Sure Bert"""

"Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church."

"Most companies try to make new cutting edge technologies... Samsung goes for the burning strategy"

"For those of you who don't know me, we haven't met yet."

"Did you hear about the new tractor movie? I heard it has a good trailer."

"What does a frenchman call a lesiban threesome? Tres bien"

"I knocked over a horny marine on the motorway the other day. I was driving on the hard soldier."

"A man walks into an apple store and...... farts every one is really angry and there all shouting so he says it's not my fault you don't have windows"