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Joke of the Day

"Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan."

"Don't ever go camping. That shit's intense."

"What should you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man."

"Chuck Norris... ...played a used game once... on the Xbox One."

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil... Rohypnol."

"What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub? Throw in your laundry."

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves... FREE"

"Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery boss? Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross."

"If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked me for money... I'd still say no."

"Since wine is made from grapes its technically accurate to say I did a fruit juice cleanse for New Years Eve."