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Joke of the Day

"Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette"

"I like my coffee like Thomas Jefferson likes his women Hand picked from a field."

"What do you call a crappy skin cream? DisappointmentTM"

"If I had a dime for every nickel I had I would have three cents"

"What kind of lizard goes into salad? A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS"

"one of the last times I got really mad was in a parking lot when a single clown got out of an enormous van"

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"Oh so everyone praises the movie 'Her' but when I loved my Sims everyone was like ""we're worried"" & ""you've been playing 72 hours straight"""

"What does a gift and a black man have in common? White children get immense joy after tearing one open"

"A man was about to jump off the Empire State Building... A physicist runs up to him and shouts ""Don't do it you have so much potential!"""