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Joke of the Day

"- Hi, this is NSA calling. - Yes, I know. - How do you know? -- My phone is turned off."

"My Doctor told me I had the Big C. I asked him to be more pacific."

"Virgins They never gave a fuck."

"What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'? River Derci. Sorry."

"to keep things interesting in the bedroom, try bringing in a second laptop"

"I've found out recently the worst way to start a bennefit gig for abused children is with an apology"

"I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook... They wanted books but instead they got magazines"

"Figured out how to jailbreak my dog and now I'm running all the cool cat apps on him - watching him go nuts on a piece of string right now"

"A snake met an elephant one day and laughed 'Look at you, you have a dick on your face!' The elephant replied, 'Better than you, your face is on your dick!'"

"I just thought of a really funny joke... but I forgot it."