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Joke of the Day

"My wife likes to look at my face while we have sex. So i gave her a picture of me for when she goes out."

"'original' is my second name . . . 'un' is my first"

"Why did the redneck cross the road? Because his dick was still in the chicken!"

"MySpace just bought a pack of Ramen noodles."

"Matter is the Real MVP m = V * p"

"Excuse me, ma'am. Your car doesn't make you invisible, but I am super impressed by how far you just got your finger up your nose."

"A teacher walks into a bar Guy: can I buy you a drink? Teacher: I don't know, CAN you?"

"I've often wondered, how do devout Christians handle being raped? Y'know, with that whole ""turn the other cheek"" thing?"

"I'd love to get myself a job inspecting mirrors! I could really see myself doing that."

"I bet that TV in hell consists only of Progressive and sad animal commercials."