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Joke of the Day

"Don't eat yellow snow. Red snow, on the other hand, is debatable. Could be horrible, could be cherry."

"What's the difference between people who voted for Trump, and those that didn't? On average, about $30,000 in student debt."

"Every wife should understand one thing: a dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently."

"1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank."

"Where can you find tetraplegics? Where you left them."

"Just realized that I'm technically a vegan for the hours between dinner & breakfast. No wonder I feel so fucking superior all the time"

"Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !"

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't let a garbanzo bean on my face"

"Why do they have fences around cemetaries? Because people are dying to get in."

"What do you call a dirty drug addict with a lisp? Methy"