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Joke of the Day

"Every wife should understand one thing: a dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently."

"What has two wings and an arrow? A Chinese telephone"

"My friend was being attacked by a duck. I tried to warn him but it only made things worse."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the fact that I cannot eat a meal without staining my shirt & the courage wear a bib in public."

"Kayne West gets arrested Officer: ""Okay, Kanye you get one phone call."" **Kanye Dials Phone number** **Officer answers** Officer: Hello? Kanye: Put Kanye on the phone."

"Typical mexico..."

"My half-brothers had a Hungarian dad and an Eskimo dad. My dad was from Wales. Our dinner table was like the U.N...only with slapping."

"I'm going to sell John Lennon memorabilia online. Imagine all the PayPal."

"Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband."

"What does a silver medalist and a pedophile have in common? They both come in just a little behind."