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Joke of the Day
"I don't understand most terms used on Reddit And I'm s/o sick of it"
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"Why was the broom late for work? It over swept."
"Doctor: i'd like you to step on the scale. Me: You first, pal."
"Fun Octopus Facts When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his dick and throws it at the female, so she can inseminate herself. He then grows a new dick. What a legend. ""Here, go fuck yourself."""
"I lost my watch at a party once... I saw this guy stepping on it while sexually assaulting a girl. I walked up to him and punched him right in the nose. No one does that to a girl. Not on my watch."
"What do you call the debut of a new beer? A saison premiere!"
"How did the nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall"
"Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old ugly and poor man? A: Stupid!"
"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram"
"Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, ""Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."""