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Joke of the Day

"Why do so many people swallow everything Trump says? Cause they don't have enough teeth to chew it."

"I got 99 problems and the bitch heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100."

"TIFU by creating a click baity post [Made up story that's not as bad as title implies]"

"Why did the feminist sign up for football? She wanted to be the center of attention."

"""hey mister can i pet your dog?"" ""sure kid"" ""what kind is he?"" ""that there's a pure beef vienna son careful don't get mustard on your shirt"""

"A termite walked into a tavern, and asked"" Is the bar tender here?"""

"I bought my dog a toy cell phone, now it takes him 45 minutes to shit."

"I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear."

"The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over."

"As my wife and three of her friends squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers.... I muttered under my breath, ""Fat fucking cows."" ""What was that?"" snapped my wife. ""You herd."""