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Joke of the Day

"I tried to eat a clock once... But it was too time consuming."

"What does a horny toad say? Rubbit"

"What do 6 lesbians and 6 government workers have in common? They're a dozen people who don't do dick."

"5 out of six researchers conclude, Russian roulette is complete safe."

"Left handed people can't do anything right. That... that's it. That's the joke. You don't get it? Then you're probably left handed."

"For Sale: 2010 Honda Civic. Well maintained. Some Zipcar logos. Must purchase in next three hours."

"[on Mars] ASTRONAUT: An alien! MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so A: I choke slammed it MC: What? A: Another one! MC: DO NOT CH A: [choke slam noises]"

"seems like you must have been preeeetty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s"

"I went to a baseball game with my dad last night. It was pretty fun, we even got on the jumbotron! Then I noticed it was the Emotional Unavailability Cam."

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down... You have my Word"