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Joke of the Day

"There was a party in my pants and only one guy came..."

"My wife reckons that recently I have become an awkward, arrogant cunt, and she just can't understand me. Seems like my French classes are going really well."

"Why was the peanut rushed to the hospital? He was a""salted"""

"I saw a homeless man holding a sign. It said, ""2 will change my life."" Unfortunately, I only had a 5 note in my pocket."

"Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes the cow ate all the grass!"

"Never trust a fortune teller buying more than 1 lottery ticket."

"Toast I'd like to propose a toast, but I'm all out of bread."

"A local policeman did a talk on heroin It was impossible to understand him"

"And the Lord said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But, John came in fifth and won a toaster."

"should probably not think about sad things at work i mean who wants to buy a dildo from someone who was clearly just crying in the shoe room"