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Joke of the Day

"Has anyone seen my jacket? It's white with sleeves that make you hug yourself and a cute belt."

"Why can't a Stormtrooper have a baby? Because they always miss."

"Why will I go down in history? I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's fingers."

"look son, i kinda need you to go to hong kong & win a martial arts tournament to the death for me because i sorta told my neighbor you did"

"""Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in"" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter"

"I'm about to have sex with my second cousin. Hopefully she's as good as the first one."

"Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray? Because the label said, ""Contents Under Pressure"" Got this joke from my brother :D"

"Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks *Impales Flutist* ""Must be flute poisoning"" *Bludgeons French Horn Player* ""Am I making you horny?"" *Throws Tuba player off cliff* ""Tu...bad"""

"I had a short prison sentence. ^that was it."