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Joke of the Day

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's fingers."

"A horse walks into a bar. .. A horse walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" Sarah Jessica Parker responds, ""I'm a person you know? I have feelings!"""

"A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around"

"drummer: ""just add er on the end of your instrument"" guy who plays trumpet: ""so im a trumpeter, ok cool"" guy who plays trombone: ""oh no"""

"Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump."

"I was cumming into a sock... when the guy wearing it was like WTF?!"

"Local singles in your area are asexually reproducing through cytokinesis. Local singles are becoming local doubles, quadruples."

"Say ""Rise up lights"" in your normal speaking voice. . . You just said ""Razor blades"" with an Australian accent."

"Waitresses/waiters of reddit... When you got interviewed for the position, did you tell them that you bring a lot to the table?"

"What's the name of a computer that turned into a singer A dell."