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Joke of the Day

"Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks *Impales Flutist* ""Must be flute poisoning"" *Bludgeons French Horn Player* ""Am I making you horny?"" *Throws Tuba player off cliff* ""Tu...bad"""

"What do selfies make me want to do? Shoot myself"

"There's nothing worse than getting bullied in school... Especially if you are a fish."

"What did the left butt cheek say to the right? If we stick together we can stop this shit."

"Melissa McCarthy has been diagnosed with an aggressive flesh eating virus They've given her only 14 years to live, if untreated."

"My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say ""You can see me?"""

"I walked in on my parents having sex last night... Possibly the most awkward 45 minutes of my life..."

"What's the difference between a woman and a plate? You can't lick a woman dry. Rimshot*"

"A little Hanukkah humour What do you call a vagina-shaped candelabra? A Labia Menorah"

"There are three types of people in the world Those who can count, and those who can't"